The Sun Is An A**hole

The Sun can just suck it.

Damn you, Sun. You sexy siren bitch!

Damn you, Sun. You sexy siren bitch!

Don’t get me wrong, without the sun I wouldn’t be here, at my desk, wracking my brain for ideas and typing away. My parents wouldn’t go to Florida for two months every year to get away from the Michigan Winter. Without the sun, we’d all be wearing Ugg boots (and Ugg hats, Ugg coats, Ugg underwear) and big mittens. Horses would never have evolved and we’d be riding Tauntauns (and you thought they smelled bad on the outside). And the bikini (you know the one with the mini triangle top bra and way-too-high-cut bottoms that no women whose daddy loved them would wear) would never have ever been invented. Face it, without the sun, the Earth would have been consigned as a mining planet for hardcore alien criminals from the planet Reticulon IV… Continue reading

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