Category Archives: Job Hunting

The eternal search for jobs…

Good News! The Job Market Should Be Fixed in “The Next Week or So…”

Job Market to normalize “in two weeks or so…”

I’m so excited to bring you this announcement personally! In an exclusive to the rest of the California, no, The Country, I can now say that the U.S. job market, so weak for so long now, will return to normal in a couple of weeks. Or so I keep being told. The fact that I’ve been told this by various sources for many months now isn’t keeping my spirits down. Continue reading

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Achievements

“Achievements are one’s way of patting oneself on the back and then pushing forward to achieve even more.” – Tim Barley, earlier this morning

a·chieve·ment

[uh-cheev-muhnt]

noun

1. something accomplished, especially by superior ability,special effort, great courage, etc.; a great or heroic deed.
APOLOGIES IF TODAY’S POST SEEMS POORLY EDITED, I’M USING REPLACEMENT EDITORS Continue reading
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How To Get What You Want: Shaking Off “Oulda” Bombs

How to get what you want by ridding yourself of woulda’s, coulda’s and shoulda’s

how to get what you want - get rid of the oulda bombI was all set this weekend to begin forming my new company, a social media writing company for those small businesses that don’t have the time to capitalize on their social media presence because they are either too busy or they don’t understand the finer points of writing to market themselves organically.  I stayed out of trouble and minus the late arrival time to my pillow on Sunday morning, I got to bed early. I was full of ideas – names, strategies, topics, businesses I wanted to reach out to, and a schedule; I had it all worked out and was ready to attack!

Then, I opened my email Sunday morning and there it was: One of those emails we all hate to get. It was an email that might as well have been in flashing red letters. It wouldn’t have affected me more if a Western Union telegram messenger dropped it off on my front doorstep. It would end up throwing me off my game all day Sunday and throw me into alternate states of panic and ennui. It was an “oulda” bomb.

What is an “oulda” bomb, you ask?

An “oulda” bomb is anything that makes you reevaluate decisions in your life and distracts you from how to get what you want. It can be as innocuous as friends telling you that they are lucky to have bought that Apple stock back in 2000 at $12 a share. Or a phone call from a bill collector asking at what point they can expect payment on that credit card; you know the card with the balance that has two pages of line items from that weekend in Las Vegas months ago…? Sometimes, they can be of your own making such as kicking yourself for not taking the chance to talk to that woman who was eyeing you at the BBQ – the one who turned out to be the heiress to that real estate fortune with properties in the Caribbean, Australia, and SE Asia…?

But, my “oulda” bomb was just an innocuous SPAM email that was sent to me because I just happened to be on a list somewhere.

Thank you, Ourtime Dating, for dropping the “oulda” bomb on me this weekend

Please note that I am NOT 50 or older. I am however, single. I am on other dating sites and have had some luck here and there with them. I’ve had the privilege of dating some quality women, a few of whom I was actually close enough with to believe that I might marry them, settle down and have kids if I would have if I had done things differently. As I sat on my couch yesterday, I realized that it was yet another weekend without someone to share it. Now, before we all get maudlin at the constantly single Tim, I want to point out that it wasn’t necessarily that I was alone this weekend that caused me to go through the “ouda’s.” I am NOT lonely. I am more alone. But, even that wasn’t the point. The point was that I spiraled downward by thinking of all the coulda’s, woulda’s and shoulda’s that happened in my life to lead me to checking emails on my couch by myself on a Sunday morning. And it wasn’t limited to just dating, I began to doubt almost every decision that I had EVER made that got me to this point in my life. That’s the problem with these little “life fragmentation grenades.”

You can’t stew in your “oulda’s” if you’re ever going to figure out how to get what you want. The best thing that you can do is to learn from them, knowing that you can never change them. It’s history, and no matter how you want to rewrite it, it will never change.

When life drops an “oulda” bomb on you, learn from it and learn how to get what you want

Whenever you are confronted by what you shoulda, coulda, or woulda done, you can only sidestep it or block it off, but remember it enough to not make the same mistake again. If you find yourself kicking yourself for something you might have done once, stop and ask yourself, “What can I do THIS time, here and now, that will help me to figure out how to get what I want?”  Trust me, the “oulda” bomb will make you implode into yourself and leave you as quivering mass of “what the’s?” and “why’s?”

Because they come at you in many forms and you often don’t see them for what they are, it’s especially important to recognize them quickly and remove them from your current life’s equation. Once that is done, you can return to how to get what you want out of life.

Trust me, ever since I learned that “IF is the middle word in ‘Life,'” I’ve learned that you will always ask yourself these questions. But, it’s best to use them to figure out where you go from here, NOT to question your life and how it has turned out.

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Why I Am Going To Start Up A Business

Why I am going to start up a business. My own business.

start up a business

I HAVE to start up a business. It’s the best time in my life and in world economic history to do it. In this economy, you just can’t count on “job creators” to create jobs if they don’t get some HUGE tax relief. I mean, HOW is one supposed to live these days on so “little” AND hire someone to do their work for them? If there is one thing that I’ve learned working my last two freelance positions (few and far between), it’s that incompetence abounds in this world. Yes, my experience might be “light” in some areas, but I am highly adaptable and learn quickly. And, I don’t work well with the clueless, uptight, and easily distracted. I know. Crazy, right? Who would think that I would be the most professional in any organization? Plus, I am pretty sure that I need a place to work that has chairs and a bathroom, let alone a source of water and maybe someplace to park. To start up a business would alleviate the problems that come with working for the unprepared.

To start up a business, I have to have an idea of what I want to do. The things I would like to do are probably out of my reach at this time in my life:

Male gigolo: there aren’t a lot of women under the age of 50 who are looking for a 42 year-old “toy.” I am sure that there are a few older than 50, but even as I’ve reached my early 40’s, I still think of 50 as that “cut-off” point. Unless, you know, she has LOTS of money.

President of the United States: the reasons WHY I can’t be president are way too many to list, but the reason I choose is WHERE; I just can’t see living in Washington, D.C. I could take frequent vacations to Hermosa Beach during my terms, but I’d rather than spend my time on the front page of newspapers listed side-by-side with George W. Bush on who took the most vacation time. Plus, I would talk plainly, not worry about dropping F-bombs and say what I mean. Not very presidential.

There are some others, including pro golfer and volleyball player, if beer and lack of practice ethic didn’t intrude.

So, with those options closed to me, I have a pretty good idea of what my company will be. It combines the two things that I love the most: writing and being sociable. It’s called social media marketing. If you have a small business, or have friends with small businesses that need their company’s/brands presence elevated organically with SEO marketing, weekly SEO blogs, Facebook, and Twitter updates, I hope to be your man. As a new business, I won’t charge much at first enough for me to keep the property manager at bay while paying for my Internet service so I can work from home. Then I’ll add Pinterest, Google+, FourSquare, Yelp! and eventually short YouTube marketing videos and product placement. Eventually, I’ll be as strong as a 16-year old Asian girl. Literally.

Start up a business – learn from your friends who’ve done the same.

In learning how to start up a business, I’m going to take some cues from a few of my friends. They have taken this leap and started their own businesses.  Some are businesses here in LA. Some are elsewhere. One is in Australia but often is found worldwide. Some I can take advantage of. Some, unless I need to go on the lam, I won’t be taking advantage of anytime soon. These are just a few of them:

Thirsty Swagman – Kenneth Hart

start up a business

Thirsty Swagman is the brainchild of Kenneth Hart, an Aussie from the West Coast of Australia and I’ve never met him. I “met” him through Kevin Wilkerson of PubClub.com. As Kenneth is 7 years younger than I am, his liver works much better than mine does these days, thus his continual odes to the “17th Beer.” He travels around the WORLD on “thirsty adventures,” drinking at world-wide drinking events – think Oktoberfest, Carnival – and other exotic locations and events.  Thirsty Swagman offers up tours and trips that center around nightlife and learning about the local flavor and culture the “real” way – by having drinks with locals in a pub. Check out his website www.thirstyswagman.com, and if you ever meet him, tell that bloke he needs to swing back through the States and say “hello” so we can actually meet. Someday, he and I will tackle the bastard that eyes us every weekend from the ice chest. It’s the one that assaults our livers at night, and our heads the next morning. Its name is the “16th beer” and together we will put an end to its madness with our close friend the 17th beer! Cheers, mate!

 Hollywood Branded – Stacy Jones

start up a business

Stacy Jones is a good friend who was the result of a losing a girlfriend. (If I got a good friend every time I broke up with a girl, I’d date more often…) Hollywood Branded is the first business that I worked for after an extended stay outside the entertainment industry. Hollywood Branded is a “boutique” product placement agency. Not sure what “product placement” is? Ever seen your favorite character in your favorite TV show use a BlackBerry phone? (yes, I know). That’s product placement. Stacy is great at what she does. She had been doing product placement for years and years for others before starting her own successful business and has some of the best business acumen I know. She’s very hands on and driven. Too much for me, possibly. But, if you have a small (or big) brand or product and you want to try product placement, reach out to her. I’m not saying that she can help, or that it will be cheap to do. But hey, Silly Bands was just a rubber bracelet once…

Isla Mujeres Property Management, et al.

start up a business

I believe that my friend Marla Bainbridge is actually just on the run from the government and moved to Mexico to start up a business or two. No, not really, she’s a great person who I am privileged to have met. It could just be the fact that she’s an Auburn alum and is prone to yelling “War Eagle” out loud, which frightens the uptight kids in the U.S. So, she moved to Isla Mujeres in the Mexican Caribbean, having visited the island many times. Getting out of the rat race, she leveraged her education, her drive and her opportunity to find herself in a position where she no longer drives a car (she uses a golf cart on the island), has an condo with an excellent view and she loves every minute of it! Listed below are the businesses that she has taken over or established herself:

Property Management – www.islamujerespropertymanagement.info
Property Rentals – www.islamujeresbudgetrentals.com
Online Marketing  – www.islandonlinemarketing.info
La Banda Sin Nombre – www.labandasinnombreislamujeres.com
Co founder of Liberty School – www.libertyschoolmexico.org

Kathy’s Dog Walking – Kathy Nelson Clarke

start up a business

Kathy is a Penn State alum, so we have to go easy on her these days. Her team, once thought of a contender against the Wisconsin Badgers in the Big Ten just avoided NOT playing football this year… She is another long-time South Bay friend who was tired of the rat race of ad sales and gave it all up to start up a business, walking dogs – a HUGE business here in Los Angeles. She loves dogs and animals of all sorts. Five years ago, she started Kathy’s Dog Walking and Pet Sitting with just a few clients. She has grown her business to 20+ independent contractors while starting a family as well. As she puts it, the best thing is that she feels that she has created something bigger than just dog walking. Her 20+ employees have employment in this tough economy and all are doing something positive and nurturing. And apparently, it’s not just dogs that can be walked. She mentioned to me something about a duck…

 

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Why You Need a Good Copy Editor – “Looking to Hire A Experienced Copyrighter [sic]”

(oh, yes, I answered that classified ad, but I proofread it and then sent it back to them first…)

The pitfalls and obstacles of the job hunt

What I face every day in THE JOB HUNT. Minus the suit.

Always on the job hunt, I answer ANY posting for any job that seems remotely like what I HAVE DONE, COULD DO, or WILL DO. And that means that I turn over every stone that I can; jobs from legitimate job sites like Monster, CareerBuilder, and LinkedIn to the odd and entertainment specific sites like Media-Match, 4EntertainmentJobs and Mandy’s. And of course there is CraigsList, where not only can I peruse job opportunities, I can buy tickets to a concert or sporting event, buy a slightly used couch or I can look through some of the greatest personal ads, “casual encounter” ads and “rant and rave” postings ever created…

(Seriously, if you have a day where you have absolutely nothing to do, go to Craigslist and find the “Best of Craigslist” link off to the left. There are some fantastic creatively-endowed people out there.)

Anyway, I would guess that I have responded (“applied” just doesn’t seem the right word anymore these days…) to approximately 400+ job postings at various sights in 2012 alone. These is just one of the posted jobs that I have run across (I have left off the jobs with the words “intern,” and only included the jobs I have found in LA):

Jobs to which I have applied

Looking to Hire A Experienced Copyrighter” [sic] – from the title of this post, I had to apply to this job posting because the way it was written screamed that they NEEDED a new copywriter. Turns out it was too good to be true, as I got a reply that wanted me to link to another site, which had a lot of creepy young Abercrombie and Fitch types – the men with waxed chests and the women with the eyes of a heavily “roofy-ed” Tri-Delt… The sight was about vacations or something, but I quickly cleared my cache and cookies and logged off. No go on that one.

I have others, but I haven’t saved them and so I will have to add them when new ones come up or I can find them again.

The one job I’d be really good at, but can’t seem to get in touch with them

Spam email writer – I receive enough spam email on a daily basis to know that I can write better spam. It’d be so much easier to write in the voice of a Nigerian prince if you don’t have to write it in Russian (most email scams originate from Russia and other former Eastern Bloc countries), then do a conversion to English, where everything written turns out like a Cold War Yoda, “Pleased to be making your acquaintance this day fine, I am.” If ever I am kidnapped in a foreign country and held for ransom, I would suggest they let me earn my freedom by writing email scams which you can’t tell immediately are scams. I’d start by saying I’m seeking donations for (insert your political representative or his opponent here). What a racket THAT is!

Jobs to which I have received a rejection letter, but found errors and wrote back, “Nice one. A good ______ would have caught that.”

Well known, world-wide advertising agency (some of you have already heard this one):

Please continue to review our job postings for positions that peak your interest.

The job was for a freelance copy editor position here in LA, in the South Bay, even. So, I copy edited the rejection letter, explained that the correct word was “pique” and mailed it back to the creative director at the LA office.

It occurs to me that the best way to do anything is for YOURSELF. So, starting next week, I’m going to be starting my own Social Media Writing Agency. I think I’ll call it “Hi!”

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