Category Archives: LIFE

The Great Wall(s) of America

In today’s society, The Great Wall(s) of America divide us through many means

phone-couple the Great Wall of America

Hi honey. Hi honey. Did you like dinner? Yes, I did.

If there is one thing that I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older in this era of “social media” and technological breakthroughs, it’s that there is a separation that has grown between people, even among our closest friends, that I like to call “The Great Wall(s) of America.” By relying on the usage of Facebook, Twitter, Instagam and the myriad of other social media outlets, we have built a wall between ourselves. We no longer have the ability to converse directly with each other, let alone the telephone. We’ve built The Great Wall(s) of America around ourselves. The Chinese may have been able to build a wall to keep out their enemies. We’ve built walls to keep out our friends. Continue reading

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Are We Secretly Using the Metric System?

59 oz orange juiceYesterday, I was at Von’s buying what I thought was a 1/2 gallon of orange juice for the week and I looked at the bottle and it was actually only 59 oz. WTF!?!? This was quite puzzling as I could have sworn that it was logical to sell liquid things in America in gallon-based sizes, or at least ounces. So Tim, you’re asking yourself, “What’s wrong with that? Who really cares if it’s 59 ounces or 64 ounces?”

Well, do you mean besides that fact that I’m paying for 5 oz less of OJ at the old gallon price or that there might be something insidious at work here? I’ll tell you: 59 oz is actually 1.75l in diguise! Sure, it took me some time to do the conversion, but I found it.

Yes, that’s right: the metric system is taking over. About 40 years after my grade school teachers tried to foist this crazy, logic-based system of measurement on me and my generation, it’s slowly being introduced into American culture. It’s killing the memories of my youth:

  • When I grew up, everyone called it a “fifth of…” (rum, vodka, whiskey, etc.), now we call it a 750ml bottle. How am I supposed to know how much I’m drinking? I’m an American. If I drink 750ml of liquor, what does that equal in oz? Can I drive? Can a case be made in front of a judge that I didn’t know the conversion factor?
  • Also, autos of my youth had cubic inch engines, which sounded so much more badass than liters or god forbid, litres. A 427 cubic inch ‘Cuda engine sounds so much more insane than would a 7L engine. Roarrr!

So, who do we blame for this infection of logical, decimal-based numeral system of weights and measures? Most would probably blame Obama, if it hadn’t started much earlier than his presidency. Could it be a European socialist plot to subvert Americans by slowly confusing them on how much they’re eating and or drinking? Or is it something more benevolent? Maybe the government and the “powers that be” are working to lessen consumption of EVERYTHING by slowly switching over to the metric system to make if seem like we’re consuming the same amounts, but we’re not. Anyway you slice it, we’re slowly being weened off the measurements that came from measuring pre Roman and Anglo-Saxon invaders’ feed, barleycorns and rods. (heh heh).

When you’re starting to see highway measurements in km instead of miles or gas measured in liters instead of gallons, you’ll know the conversion is complete. And you’ll realize I was right.

 

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Christmas: What’s In It For Santa?

No rest for the weary. Time to get started on 2013!

Well, it’s Christmas. And that means that Santa is making the rounds to the kids who have been nice all year, and honestly to the ones who have been a bit naughty as well because parents love their kids no matter how much of a pain in the ass they have been. For instance, when I was a kid, Santa still came and gave me presents even after I used wire cutters to cut all my dad’s extension cords and used a hammer and flat-head screwdriver to chisel at the tile in my parents’ basement, and countless other dumb-ass things (all in the same year) because I saw someone doing it and I thought it looked cool.  Continue reading

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Your “+1’s”

I’m back to discuss your “+1’s.”

Your +1's are not JUST about your friends

It’s not just about whether you are bringing a date to the big event.

Hello, everyone! It’s the Thanksgiving holiday! Or, as the retail world now calls it: the speed bump between Halloween and Christmas. It’s time today to talk about your “+1’s.” And, no, not just the answers to whether or not you are actually bringing a date or a “friend” to the big event.

But, first, I am sorry that I’m late with this post. As some of you may know I’ve embarked on creating a little thing called “Cocktails & Movies,” a long-gestating creation of mine which combines the fun of going out as a group to get cocktails during a happy hour, then going to see a movie in an actual theater. (The justification of WHY this must be done is there on the landing page for the site.) You can also find it on Facebook (Facebook/cocktailsandmovies) and of course on Twitter @cocktailsmovies. Continue reading

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Things That Occurred to Me (Or, How I Procrastinated Today)

So, I’ve been contemplating site changes to offtopictim.com. Nothing major, just a new layout. And colors. And words. And “stuff.” Basically, retooling offtopictim.com to be cooler looking as I build my social media consultancy and study for Google certifications and a whole bunch of other “stuff.”

I’m also about to build two MORE WordPress sites – www.totalengagementmedia.com (which will be my social media consultancy), and www.cocktailsandmovies.com (which will be MY social site for all of us who love going to the movies and drinking. At the same time.).

Outwardly, I am cool as a cucumber. Inside, it’s like Fry is running the show at times.

But, then I started thinking. Which, if you know me, is how I came to start this site in the first place. I start at point A, then I think about how A.1 is kind of similar to plot point 7 and how in a 3D axial matrix that would lead to set X. If you think that made no sense, you should try being in my brain at times. It’s highly creative, partly disorganized, and a whole lot of fun.

So, this is what I’ve been thinking about while I still work on two websites, daily corresponding Facebook, Twitter posts, instagrams, Pinterest Pins and studying for my Google Adwords, Analytics, Adsense exams… Continue reading

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