Tag Archives: politics

Keyword Dating: Finding Your Mate With The Best “Keywords”

 Keyword Dating: the new “Hey, how are you?”

online dating keywords

In order to connect my mouse to another’s, I need the best keywords possible.

It used to be so easy back in my 20’s. I’d hang with my buddies in the bar, imbibing large amounts of Captain and Cokes, scope out the pretty “babies” (also imbibing large amounts of drinks), take laps around the bar, find a beautiful baby that traded similar glances with me, talk large amounts of shit, go home together, see her a few more times and call it “dating.” When you’re in your 20’s, both sides appear to be pretty happy with this form of “dating.”

Entering my 30’s, this process evolved into doing the same thing, only at parties, get togethers and activities.

Now, in my 40’s, with most of my friends now married or dating long-term, and very few of them of willing or able to set me up, I find myself turning to online dating because living in an area such as the South Bay is a lot like living in a small town: you know everyone, have dated a few of them, therefore dating their friends, and the pool of candidates has shrunk substantially. The only REAL difference is that you aren’t related to any of them. I hope. This makes dating very tough. So, I am a late adopter of online dating. I have always likened it to personal ads in the back of newspapers. Except now, writing the words “Do you like pina coladas?” doesn’t find you the love of your life which you didn’t know you already had. Sure, I’ve flirted with it previously at times and have had some success, including a few relationships that have lasted a short time. But, I’ve learned a few things which will make online dating easier for you as it has for me.

Dating itself is a time honored ritual. You meet, court and then get married. Along the way you refer to yourselves as “dating,” “going out,” “boyfriend/girlfriend,” “serious,” “engaged,” then married. As a young adult, it can be fun and entertaining. As an adult, it can be a painstaking task of manuevering through preconceived notions and expectations. Because it has gotten harder to find “the one,” and to save time for those quality females out there, I’ve put together a list of “keywords” that are highly sought after in the digital dating world.

The keywords that get the best results

“Fun,” “Outgoing,” “Smart” – While being TRUE, all of these words indicated that someone is not going to be boring and a fuddy-duddy (contrary to the popular belief of some of my friends that believe I am “boring” when I don’t drink). Taken together, you can see that these words make someone a well-rounded person:



“Spiritual,” “Family oriented”

keyword dating

This is NOT the type of spiritual dating I have in mind.

 First of all, “spiritual” is a bullshit word that means either A. You grew up religious, but because of a busy schedule (drinking, partying, working, dating, etc.), you choose not to go to anything officially related to you childhood church or, B. You’re an atheist and choose not to tell anyone for fear that would alienate you.

I don’t know where I fall in that group, so I choose “spiritual.” Sue me.

“Family Oriented” – I have a family. I still love them and with any luck, I’ll love my own. But I do allow for the fact that my future wife may not. It’s a delicate balance, so I’m “family-oriented.”

“Active” – It’s not that you ARE active. It’s what you do that makes this keyword so important. Very few people in the online dating world are looking for people that do NOTHING. But, just as few are looking for a date that “can’t live unless I’m confronting death like free shark diving, base jumping, free climbing greased buildings, etc.” I choose a happy medium: golf, SCUBA, volleyball and hiking – although I don’t really a lot of hiking yet – balanced with a healthy dose of TV watching and movie-going.


dating keywords

Be honest. Someday you MIGHT actually meet the “attractive,” “fit” person on the other end of the line.

The biggie. It should be. In “the wild” you are attracted to someone, THEN you make your move. Your online profile usually has pictures, so you can’t really get away with describing yourself as thin if you are not thin (unless you use old pictures, and then you are just an asshole). A few thoughts on describing oneself: there is a difference between “curvy” and “a little extra,” “average” is not the same thing as “fit/athletic,” and “full-figured” and “overweight” are not synonomous.

I choose “average” for myself as until I have a six-pack of abs and can do my laundry on my stomach while taking a shower, I am not “athletic.”

“Diet” is an all-encompassing group category that includes: whether your relationship with alcohol is co-dependent or not, if smoking is only a drinking related activity, and whether or not you are a militant vegan or just a vegetarian that loves sushi and won’t feel bad if have a chicken sandwich from McDonald’s while on a road trip.


keyword dating

Sure, it might work. But, go into it KNOWING where the other stands.

And then there is the current keyword that pops up every four years: Republican or Democrat? I once dated a Republican, something I found out AFTER we started dating. This is how the relationship went at times:

Me: “You’re wrong! You can’t honesty believe that”

Her: “No, you’re wrong! And I do believe that”

Me: “Well, f*ck you!”

Her: “Okay”

Me, LATER, as we lay in bed: “I love you.”

Her: “I love you, too!”

Sure, if was fun at times, but in the end we couldn’t see eye-to-eye on this and it was over. There isn’t an online dating site that I know of involving politics. It’s too bad. It could be an adventure in dating!

So, there they are. My keywords?  I am looking for a woman who is “fun,” “outgoing,” “smart,” “Democrat,” will eat anything, drinks in moderation and is considered “sexy and fit.”

Basically, I’m looking to date myself.

What are YOUR personal dating keywords? #keyword dating

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Why “You” Don’t Matter Anymore

(sorry to let you know via blog post…)

Have you voted yet? No? You say the election isn’t until November? What about the Greek elections? Did you realize that Nikos Hanias has jumped ship from the Syriza party? Calling them dangerous? Apparently, these elections have a lot to do with you. What about the austerity measures in Spain and Italy? If they don’t get money to bail their banking systems out, it’s going to effect YOUR 410k, if you even still have one… Maybe you live in one of the 14 states that “will decide the presidential election.” Do you?  If you believe the media pundits, your very future is at stake as this is “the most important election in U.S. history.” Not sure which states these are? Hell, I can tell you. If you don’t live in one, you apparently don’t even have to bother voting.

Greek elections

THESE people are going to have a significant impact on your life on Monday morning.

Tomorrow and Sunday, the Greek people are going to the polls to vote (voting on Saturday and Sunday! Novel!). If the status quo, New Democratic Party wins, Greek politicians will move ahead as planned with Eurozone approved bailout measures that will include austerity measures (such as cutting 32% from the minimum wage) and deep cuts in spending (and 15,000 state workers will be put in a “labor reserve” at 60% wage and then let go after a year, hiring one back for every five let go). Life will go on, a light will supposedly be seen at the end of Europe’s debt tunnel and there will be little disruption in the world markets come Monday morning. Bankers will continue to use your money for the purposes of getting good returns for their investors.

However, if the far left coalition, Syriza, wins the election, they have promised to renounce the austerity measures, which would force the Eurozone to hold back bailout money and possibly force Greece from the Eurozone, default on all its debts and return Greece to the Drachma. Hopefully, Greece would still have 300 able bodied soldiers to hold the “Hot Gates” while they worked something else out. This would “have devastating effects on the Eurozone AND the world economy.” Also, I assume that would also include human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together and mass hysteria. So, apparently, Mr. and Mrs. America, it’s not YOU that matters to the global economy and governments, it’s Greece.

The next in line after Greece are Spain and Italy. If these countries falter on paying their debts, then you can rest assured that the recession of 2008-2009 will look like a walk in the park. Any money that you have left that isn’t under you mattress or in the form of food and water and guns is going to be worthless. You think it’s hard to find a job now? Wait until the pockets of every company and government agency puckers up like a virgin on prom night. For some reason, the world consumer is more important to American politicians and companies than you are.

The swing states that “will decide the election”

If you don’t live in Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, Florida, Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Virginia, and North Carolina, then you don’t need to vote this fall in the general election. You see, YOUR state has already been given by the media to Obama or Romney. It doesn’t matter how you vote in the other 37 states, if you don’t live in the 13 that matter, then your vote won’t make a difference.

The shadow of unlimited money looms over the U.S. Government.

No matter where you live, you will still be subjected to the constant bombardment of TV ads for candidates, bought and paid for by people with more money than you or I or our friends combined will ever have. Recently, it was suggested that there might not be enough ad time on TV to fit in all the political ads that will be bought and aired on TV this fall. All this from people whose money now counts as free speech (thanks to the Supreme Court and “Citizens United”). That means that you no longer count as much as a person who has more money than you. Equal representation indeed! And you were worried that the LGTB’s getting the right to married made you less of a person…

So, you see? “You” don’t matter anymore. Sorry, you.

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Help Me [Insert Legitimate Third Party Here]!!! You’re My Only Hope!!!

(WHY not…?)

The Hatfield’s and McCoy’s…

The Axis and the Allies…

Fox News and CNN…

The Skeksis and The Mystics


Republicans and Democrats.

Brilliant! Nice job, gentleman. That'll teach them!

There’s a stalemate in America government between the two major political parties. There’s an uneasy, often vitriolic detente displayed – much to the thinly disguised glee and enjoyment of the news networks – as loudly as possible for the benefit of their wealthy donors and their own oversized egos. It’s turned our government into political theater, a macabre, grotesque shoutfest mockery of what the wigged framers of the constitution had in mind. It has become “government” in name only. It’s an equal opportunity for getting nothing done at the highest levels of government.

With an equal amount (+/- 30%) of registered voters in America calling themselves either “Republican” or “Democrat” and committed to voting that way (even if their candidate holds up that blind autistic child, the one that the campaign staff carted up onstage with the candidate, in order to shield himself from the lightning bolt arcing down from the heavens), we are left an impotent and ineffectual government that will continue to be elected into power. In this era of partisan politics, with each side calling the other the problem, we have entered a new age of Mutually Assured Destruction – a behavior you get when your elected leaders refuse to work with the “other side” based on either a purely sophomoric view that the other side’s ideology is wrong, or a juvenile need to make sure that the other side doesn’t get any credit for solving the issues. Wahhhhh!

Traditionally, stereotypically, “historically” (whatever you want to call it) the two major political parties are known for certain ideologies and have certain voters who vote for them. These voters once based their vote on what their candidate stood for but have since primarily voted as a result of their hatred for the “other side’s” candidate, not so much what the candidate stands for:

Prototypical Republican as seen by the Left

  • Republican: (as seen by the Democratic voter): White, rich, wears a monocle and uses a cane as HE (no women here) climbs to the top on the back of his workers, entering his limo, lights his cigar with a $100 bill, loves guns, lots of guns, hates a woman’s right to choose, is Christian, and “shoots first, asks questions later.”
  • Famous Republicans – Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Lyndon Johnson, Ronald Reagan, Mel Gibson, Sarah Palin, FOX News, Montgomery Burns. (amazing, the evolution, isn’t it)

Democrats are sponges as seen by the Right

  • Democrat: (as seen by the Republican voter): Non-whites, godless, lazy/freeloaders, elitists, baby killers, socialists, Muslim* – new addition, whiners and criers, gays.
  • Famous Democrats – I honestly looked for non-celebrities here, but other than John F. Kennedy, all I saw were screen shots of celebrity photos. And Sponge Bob. (sigh)
Again, these are only traditional stereotypes I listed here, but with most Democratic or Republican candidates for every office cow-towing to the party line (“small government,” “big government,” “lower taxes on the rich,” “everyone pays their share,” “pro life,” “women should choose,” insert your favorite political diatribe here), drifting to the “party base” and throwing out their personal ties to the voters THEY REPRESENT, where are those who don’t follow the strict party doctrine to turn?

The “Rest of Us”

Caught up in this ideological war, are the roughly 30% to 38% of Americans who call themselves “independent.” This is a higher percentage than call themselves “Republican” or “Democrat,” but as there is NO one main Independent Party that counts them all part of the same group, this number is highly diffused across too many parties to have any effect. (This is also probably a misnomer, as in this day and age, no one wants to offend anyone by stating their political beliefs out loud, they might believe that their “independent vote” won’t amount to much, or they “can’t bear to see that ____ candidate win.”)

True independents believe that the purpose of government is TO GOVERN FOR THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE, not just to battle the other party; that a SMALL CENTRAL government IS good and STATES’ RIGHTS are more important; that because a small central government is best, that people get to CHOOSE how they conduct their lives in private; that everyone pays the same to live here; that those who do live here get all THE SAME RIGHTS as everyone else; that we live within our means and that taxes ARE those means; that economic development AND environmental/personal protections are not mutually exclusive, etc… The running theme here is logical, fair compromise.

(I profess that I was a Young Republican before attending the University of Wisconsin. It was a crazy liberal named Mark E., but more the lovely Diana, whom I took home from Democratic rally in 1988, who indoctrinated me into the Democratic Party. As I’ve grown, matured(?), and been educated, I’ve come to realize that I cannot be pigeon-holed and don’t have to pick just between Evil 1 or Evil 2.

The Numbers

First of all, there are only two (2 of 100) U.S. Senators and NO (0 of 435) U.S. Representatives that are “independent.” The U.S. has never had a politically independent President. How is that possible if 38% of the American electorate considers themselves “independent?”

Okay, sure, part of the problem with the independent party system is obvious.

Well, outside of the two major parties, look at the parties they have to choose from. There are approximately 38 highly unorganized “independent” political parties, most of whom apparently have poor PR departments. Most of them have also sprung up only after 1970, including: many parties with “Socialist” in the title, the obvious “American” parties and even fringe parties like the United States Marijuana Party and the United States Pirate Party. Clearly, they haven’t had the time to get their message across or land huge political donors…

As candidates flee to the edges of the political spectrum in order to shore up their “bases,” it’s clearly now time for a legitimate Third Party to step up into the middle of American politics, to fill the void by those who apparently despise using logic and compromise and who are afraid to stand up and lead the way. With both “right” and “left” wing connotations eliciting grimaces from the electorate, what’s wrong with a party that exists in the middle? Isn’t that where the strongest part of ANYTHING is?

I don’t advocate for one political party or the other. If you agree with everything that one of the two major political parties believe in, then by all means I cannot dissuade you from voting for their candidate. I DO advocate for the smart, logical and willing voter out there to at least take a look at the major third parties out there, including the Libertarian Party, and their candidate for president, Gary Johnson – a former governor of New Mexico and a pretty smart guy if his appearance on The Daily Show was any indication.  You can see it here: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-june-5-2012/gary-johnson. I’m not sure if I believe in everything they say, but I am at least willing to take a look.

“Benefits” of a Legitimate Third Party at the National Level

With both sides of “the aisle” poised to block any bill or effort to effect change with the status quo in place, inserting a third party can actually accomplish a lot.

  • They can mediate between the major parties as they (often) come to an impasse.
  • They can bring to the political table new ideas and logical, fair voices.
  • They can break voting ties by siding with one side or the other, hopefully with the understanding that they will in turn get support for their agenda later.
  • They can restore faith in our government that the candidates actually listen to the voters and not their party whip or leader.


Where do I start? Third party marginalization is historically a central plank in any party’s value system and probably one of the only things that each side agrees on. Why would either side want to lose what power they have?

The Two Party System:

Consider “Simpsons Treehouse of Horror: VII” (1996!):

Enough said.

Kodos: It’s true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It’s a two-party system. You have to vote for one of us.
Man 1: He’s right, this is a two-party system.
Man 2: Well I believe I’ll vote for a third-party candidate.
Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away.



The 15% Rule Regarding Presidential Debates

In 2000, the Commission on Presidential Debates (CREATED BY THE DEMOCRATIC AND REPUBLICAN PARTIES), ruled that a candidate for President of the United States must be polling at least 15% across five national polls in order to be part of the Nationally Televised Debates. It has nothing to do with whether or not he/she’s on THE BALLOT in all 50 states, as Gary Johnson – Libertarian, is. You just have to be liked by 15% of the polled voters. Um, stoners don’t answer polls by phone…

Historical Candidates

Probably the biggest obstacle is the damage that historical candidates themselves have done.  Since John Anderson garnered 6.6% of the vote in the 1980 election and Ross Perot received 18.9%!!! in 1992 (only 8% in 1996), no candidate has gotten more than 1% of the vote since. Yet, Ralph Nader and other still tilt at the windmills, hoping to effect a change.

Where Now?

The independent movement is lost in the wilderness. It doesn’t have its Moses to lead them  to a legitimate standing. People like Ron Paul, a Republican in name only, but more of a Libertarian, CAN and SHOULD sway their legions of voters to vote with their hearts and to elect people, not parties, to office. It’s a long road; the specter of having someone elected that you don’t like because you took a stand is a hard pill to swallow for 2, 4 or 6 years…

But, hopefully more people like me will pick up the cause and begin to change the system, to show that you don’t just have two choices, and that tilting at windmills is sometimes okay.

Now, I’m off to saddle up my horse…

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The “90% Turnover Project” – or “Throw ‘Em All Out!”

(I’d advocate for a full overthrow of the entire U.S. Government, but they are probably watching me already…)

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.” – special guest commentator, Mark Twain – Thanks, Mark!

Where good, honest, intelligent ideas and compromise go to die...

Government is NOT Politics, and Politics is NOT Government. Or at least they shouldn’t BE the same. You may think they are. The Dumb Ass Ewok Tribe and The Great Evil Empire Propaganda Machine, or better known to you as CNN and FOX News respectively, often use them interchangeably. Here in this country, we tend to blur the definition of the two until they become the same thing, and that’s a damned shame.

For those of you who didn’t take a civics class, or haven’t used a dictionary in a while, here are the definitions of each:

     Government: The system by which a nation, state, or community is governed.

     Politics: The art or science of government*** (I would say that this definition has even been co-opted by many to be more defined by one’s sympathies or opinions and that government is no longer “governed” by art or science and is governed more by emotion)

Government is a great system for regulating people to do things that they don’t want to do and keeping others from doing the things that they would like to do. It’s a form of subjugation in the sheep’s clothing of citizen protection, controlling the population with curbs against free will so that the MAJORITY is (or should be) protected from the “minority,” who in the view of the government, are out to get them.

But, this column today is NOT about government. It’s about the 90% of Congress that doesn’t have a positive rating. It’s about politics and its infestation with the U.S. Legislative branch and what, if you are even remotely interested in the course of your country and the responsibility of your elected officials, you can do about it.

In case you didn’t notice, it’s a presidential election year. And that makes politics for every office so much crazier. Every little thing is nitpicked. Networks brush off their “campaign trail” logos with new graphics, add new, catchy music, and pick new “hype” words. But, it’s really the same old thing, every two and four years. Unfortunately, we’ll probably get the same old (and getting older) people, doing the same old thing, and we’ll all complain the same old way about how nothing is getting done.

Secretly, I like politics in the same way I like the movie “The Room.” It’s awful and just horrible to watch, but I get a certain glee out of it, shaking my head, shouting at the TV and secretly wishing I was on the floor of the U.S. Congress so I could drop “F-bombs” and call assholes “asshole” to their faces! The very thing that is wrong with Government today is the very thing I would use to cure it. Why not turn up the volume to 11 and fight the fire with fire until it all burns itself out?  If Congress were more like “The Hunger Games,” you can rest assured that we would vote in the smartest, best fit, and strongest candidates to represent us. Not just the ones with the most money.

Unfortunately, the idiots running the show in D.C. are the most connected. It’s like “Survivor” but it’s the agents of the contestants that are playing the game while everyone else suffers.

(yes, I know TONS of analogies today!!!)

I always thought I would make a good, if not great representative or senator to the U.S. Congress for several reasons:

I’m SMART – certainly smarter than some of the imbeciles that currently represent various citizenry throughout the U.S.  This clearly indicates that either these representatives ARE a direct reflection of their constituents OR none of the smart people in that district bother to vote. Both are scary ideas to consider. (QUICK: Name YOUR U.S. REP and your U.S. SENATOR and what their (your?) position is on your most cherished concern.)

I’m LOGICAL but EMPATHETIC. This is a rare combination. I can talk about many subjects and weigh both sides equally in my head and my heart, listening to both sides. When was the last time you heard about a person speaking on the floor of the House or Senate utilizing both logic and passion or passionate logic or logical passion to further a cause? No, today all you hear about is about how much “our side” and “their side” is or are to blame. As a constituent, do I know which side I am supposed to be on?

And I would make sure to be totally TRANSPARENT, revealing every person who walked in my office, called into my office or met with me and I’d never take money from someone or some corporation that didn’t reside in MY DISTRICT.

Since those reasons alone will most likely keep me from ever reaching a position representing MOST Americans, I’d thought I’d share a few other reasons why I won’t ever make it into politics:

1. I’d have to move. Even if I did ever become a State Rep here in California, I’d have to go to Sacramento. Who the f*ck wants to go to Sacramento? Hell, even the Sacramento Kings don’t want to be in Sacramento and they are pro sports stars!  If I still lived in Wisconsin, I’d love to be in Madison and I suppose Lansing is alright… If I ever was elected to the U.S. Congress, I’d have to go to Washington, D.C. and I really, really don’t want to go to D.C.  But, seeing as how little work they do there (approximately 108 total working days in the entire 2012 calendar year), I could possibly swing this…

2. I have a “background.” Years ago, the sh*t that I did as a kid and even last weekend would have gotten me thrown out of the primaries! Yet, as the years have gone by and we have accepted Presidents that “didn’t inhale,” “had done cocaine,” and “hung out with radical reverends,” and have admonished, but accepted, an assortment of Representatives and Senators with peccadilloes I parents would blush at, my transgressions seem to pale in comparison…

3. I don’t have tons of dispensable $$$ to run for office. Enough said on that topic.

4. I’d have to stop writing this blog and really, there isn’t anything more than I like than picking a fight for discussion’s sake…

So, since we can’t have somewhat honest, smart, funny people like me in Congress, what can we do? We can work tirelessly to remove as much of the problem as possible. If you are interested in more about how to clean up Congress, I invite you to the Facebook Page “The 90% Turnover Project” at https://www.facebook.com/The90TurnoverProject

Until then, I am going to go cause some trouble…

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We are up and running!

After much help from the fantastic people at GoDaddy, we are up and running. Kudos to Canilla, Deanna, Zachary and Benny for the stellar help that they provided to a young man with a dream.

Unfortunately, I don’t know where to start today; is it CNN and their death spiral to the ratings toilet? Could it be political? Or maybe it’s the entitlement that the bitch who almost ran me down in the crosswalk as I walked home from the gym while on her cellphone felt she had this morning.

I’d take suggestions, but as it’s an “off topic” blog, I’ll probably dismiss them and do something I want to do…


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